I love to blog. I love to write. It gives me such a clear mind. The problem is I do not always want a clear mind. Sometimes me and God need to have it out. I understand that it can be controversial to question the Great Almighty. I strongly believe, however, that anyone that says that they do not is lying to themselves and others. Believing this as truth I will proceed.
The problem is, I do not always really want to listen to God. Not the God that I serve. Not the God that tells me I am called to be a servant. Not the God that tells me that what I want is wrong. Not the God that tells me I need to follow him with a grateful attitude.
I want the God who tells me that I deserve to be treated kind and fairly always! I want the God that tells me that I can live where I want when I want. I want the God that tells me that my anger is justifiable. I want the God that tells me that those fools are to listen to me because I am right! I also want the God where everyone has a happy ending. I want the God where no one is hungry and there is no pain, fear, or reason for sadness.
I think that we all experience this feeling at one time or another. We want the God that will justify our decisions. We want the God that will justify our divorce, our temper, our gossip, our haughty hearts, or whatever the case may be. We want the God that tells us that life is fair and we deserve to be happy.
It is often a struggle of mine accepting God for who He is. Surely God wants me to be happy. Surely even God would tell me I have the right to be angry. But I cannot forget something. It is not enough to believe in a higher power. If we do not love and accept God for who He is and only who we want Him to be; then we do not know or love God.
When we read scripture or pray and choose not to believe what we read or have been told by the Spirit because it does not make sense in what are precept of who we want God to be; then we are not living life to love and serve God but only a figment of our imagination.